Instead of looking for traits to emulate, focus on ones to avoid
与其寻找模仿的特质，不如关注哪些需要避免的特质

前言

英文原文来自Medium
Link：https://forge.medium.com/10-habits-of-unsuccessful-people-you-dont-want-to-copy-d401ac677c91
中文翻译为博主自主翻译，若有不足之处，恳请在评论中指出。

原文

The first successful person I ever met — truly successful, with accomplishments I admired and ambition I strove to emulate — I was 24 and eager to learn; he was constantly cheerful, and had more money than he could count.
我曾经遇到的第一个真正成功的人士，这位成功人士身上有着我所欣赏且想要努力追赶的雄心。我24岁，渴望学习；他总是乐呵呵的，钱多到数不清。

We became close friends, and he told me eventually that he’d lost his wife, the love of his life, a half-decade before we met — the kind of loss, he said, that you never get over. It was a story that made his positive outlook seem all the more remarkable to me: Here was someone who had been through tragedy, and yet still made it a priority to do good things with his time and his money.
我们成为亲近的好友，他最终告诉我，在我们相遇的五年前，他失去了他的妻子，他生命中的挚爱——他说，那种失去是永远无法克服的。在我看来，正是这个故事使他积极的人生观显得更加不同寻常。这对一些人是残忍的，然而这也是令一些人做更好的事情是用他的钱和时间这是一个经历过悲剧的人，但仍然把自己的时间和金钱做善事放在首位。他似乎真的很关心其他人。

Often, he’d tell me what he saw as the secret to his success: “I just try to avoid being unsuccessful,” he said. He studied what made someone (avoidably) unhappy, broke, or unmotivated — and then he avoided making the same mistakes.
他常常告诉我他看到的成功的秘诀：“我仅仅尝试了去避免失败”，他说。他研究了是什么让一个人(不可避免地)不快乐、破产或缺乏动力——然后他避免了犯同样的错误。

I knew in my bones that he was right. Too often, we adopt a plug-and-play attitude: “If I do x, I’ll be successful.” But if success was easy and predictable, we wouldn’t be seeking advice on how to achieve it. Instead of studying what’s worked for other people, I’ve followed my friend’s advice, paying close attention to the habits that hold people back from reaching their goals.
我从骨子里知道他是对的。我们常常采取即插即用的态度：“如无哦我做了某件事，我就会成功”。但是如果成功是容易并可预测的，我们就不用寻求如何实现它的建议。我没有研究对别人有用的东西，而是听从了朋友的建议，密切关注那些阻碍人们实现目标的习惯。

Here are 10 of the most common self-imposed barriers. If you find yourself against one, use them as a signal to reevaluate, reflect, and reverse course.
下面是10个最常见的自我设置的障碍。如果你发现自己与之相悖，把他们作为一个信号来重新评估、反思和扭转方向。

1. Always being distracted

总是心烦意乱
In his book Essentialism, time-management consultant Greg McKeown describes running into a former classmate who was between jobs and looking for career advice. Midway through the conversation, the man looked down at his phone and began typing.

时间管理顾问格雷·麦吉翁在他的著作《本质主义》中描述了他在求职和寻求职业建议之间偶遇一位前同学的经历。谈话进行到一半时，那人低头看了看手机，开始打字。

“Ten seconds went by,” McKeown recounts. “Then 20. I simply stood there as he continued to text away furiously.” After a couple minutes, he gave up and walked away.

“十秒钟过去了”，麦吉翁回忆道。“那二十秒，我只是站在那里，他继续愤怒地发着短信。几分钟后，他放弃，走开了。”

I think of this story whenever I feel pulled in many different directions, as a way of reminding myself to focus on the moment I’m in and the people I’m with. If that old classmate of McKeown’s had reminded himself the same thing, he might have made a connection or gotten a tip that led him to a job.

每当我觉得自己被拉向不同的方向时，我就会想起这个故事，以此提醒自己专注于当下和身边的人。如果麦吉翁的老同学也这样提醒他自己，他可能已经建立了联系，或者得到了一笔小费，从而找到一份工作。

2. Only talking the talk

光说不做
“I’m training for a marathon.” “I’m starting a business.” You know what’s better than announcing something on social media? Doing it.
“我正在为马拉松训练”。“我要创业了”。你知道怎么做会比在社交网络上发布消息更好吗？实际行动。

In his 2010 TED talk, “Keep You Goals to Yourself,” entrepreneur Derek Sivers argued that broadcasting your plans can be counterproductive rather than motivating. People will often applaud you simply for stating your intention, he said, and somewhat counterintuitively, that applause can sap your will to actually follow through on the plans you’ve just outlined.
企业家德里克 · 西弗斯(Derek Sivers)在他2010年的TED演讲《把你的目标留给你自己》中指出，公布你的计划可能适得其反，而不是起到激励作用。他说，人们往往会因为你说出了自己的意图而为你鼓掌，这多少有些违反直觉，因为掌声会削弱你真正贯彻你刚才概述的计划的意愿。

“When you tell someone your goal and they acknowledge it, psychologists have found that it’s called a ‘social reality,’” Sivers explained in his talk. “The mind is kind of tricked into feeling that it’s already done. And then because you’ve felt that satisfaction, you’re less motivated to do the actual hard work necessary.”
西弗斯在演讲中解释说：“当你告诉别人你的目标，他们也承认了，心理学家发现这叫“社会现实。”“大脑会被欺骗，觉得它已经完成了。然后，因为你感到了那种满足感，你就不那么有动力去做真正需要的艰苦工作。”

There’s nothing wrong with sharing your joy. But try to hold your tongue until you’ve got good news, not just good intentions.
分享你的快乐没有错。但是，在你的到好消息之前，不要说太多，不要只是善意。

3. Spending time with the wrong people

在错误的人身上花费时间
The friends you surround yourself with can encourage you to be your best self, or they can bring out your worst tendencies. Do you have a goal to get healthier, for example? Hang out with people who will encourage you to make those changes in your life. Want to utterly fail in that goal? Spend time with ones who revel in their own bad habits. People feed off each other’s energy.
周围的朋友可以鼓励你做更好的自己，也可以让你暴露出最坏的倾向。例如，你有一个变得更健康的目标吗？和那些能鼓励你改变生活的人在一起。想在这个目标上彻底失败吗？花费时间和那些沉迷于自己坏习惯的人在一起。近朱者赤，近墨者黑。

4. Always focusing on the negative

总是关注消极面
As my friend showed me years ago when he told me about his grief, you can focus on the positive without pretending life is easy. You can have a realistic perspective without pointing out the bad in everything you see. We all know the person who complains about everything. “Ugh, it poured this morning, and my shoes got soaked.” Yes, that sucks. No, you can’t change the weather. You can put on a new pair of shoes. Having a bad day is okay — everyone gets irritable once in a while. But if you always hate everything, you’re having a bad life. It’s that simple.
正如我的朋友多年前告诉我他的悲伤时那样，你可以专注于积极的一面，而不是假装生活很容易。你可以有一个现实的角度，而不用指出你看到的每件事的缺点。我们知道有的人什么都抱怨。“天呐，今天早上下起了倾盆大雨，我的鞋子都湿透了。”是的，这很糟糕。不，你无法改变天气。你可以穿上一双新的鞋子。过糟糕的一天没有关系——每个人都会偶尔变得很暴躁。但是如果你讨厌一切，你的生活就会很糟糕，就是这么简单。

5. Procrastinating

拖延
In college, I once asked a professor to extend a deadline for an essay. His reply: “I’m perfectly happy to extend your deadline by a week. The only thing I’m asking you is, will your essay be better if you hand it in a week from now?” We both knew the answer was “no.” I worked my ass off to finish it on time. Only delay things when you’ll do a better job with that extra time. Do it now, or do it better later.
在大学里，我曾经要求一位教授延长一篇论文的截止日期。他回答是“我非常高兴能把你的最后期限延长一周，我唯一要问你的是，一周后的提交的论文会比你现在提交的论文更好吗？”我们都知道答案是“不”。为了按时完成它，我拼命工作。只有当你可以用额外的时间做得更好的时候，才会拖延。要么现在做，要么以后做得更好。

6. Not listening to others

不听别人的话
Being a good listener can steer you in the right direction, but in the long term, it also helps you maintain close, valuable relationships. Everyone can give a hug, but not everybody calls just to ask, “How are you?” Put in the time. Ask, listen, care, repeat.
成为一个好的听众可以为你指明正确的方向，但从长远来看，它也能帮助你保持亲密、有价值的关系。每个人都能给对方一个拥抱，但不是每个人打电话都只是说一句“你好吗？”投入时间。问，听，关心，重复。

7. Giving in to laziness

屈从于懒惰
We all have moments where we’re tempted to cancel plans. Sometimes, the effort of leaving the house can feel Herculean, even for something “fun.” But new and novel experiences are what makes life beautiful. When you give in to laziness, you’re not fully participating in your own life — which also isn’t fair to your friends, family, partner, and the other people who want to share it with you.
我们都有要取消计划的时候有时，离开家的努力会让人感到无比艰难，即使是为了一些“乐趣。”但是新的和新奇的经历使我们的生活更美丽。当你向懒惰屈服时，你并没有完全参与到你自己的生活中去——这对你的朋友、家人、伴侣以及其他想要与你分享生活的人来说是不公平的。

8. Not being curious

不再好奇
It used to be that if your dad was a farmer — and you were a man — you became a farmer. Women didn’t get to choose what they wanted to be. And the ability to learn things beyond your immediate world was limited, if not impossible. Today, access to information is easier than it’s ever been. Obviously, there are still structural barriers that limit what people can do, but those who take advantage of this access to information — who read books, who ask questions, who follow their curiosity — have more power to envision, and shape, their futures. It’s hard to dream about what you don’t know.
过去，如果你的父亲是个农民——而你是个男人——你就会成为一个农民。女性无法选择他们想要成为。如果不是不可能的话，学习你眼前世界之外的东西的能力是有限的。今天，获取信息比以往任何时候都要容易。显然，仍然有结构性障碍限制着人们能做的，但那些利用这种获取信息的机会——读书、提问、追随自己的好奇心的人会有更大的权利去设想和塑造自己的未来。你不知道的事情是很难想象的。

9. Not being nice

不是很好
Just be a nice person. If you have difficulty defining what a “nice person” is, you’re likely a jerk.
去做一个好的人。如果你很难定义什么是“好人”，你可能是个混蛋

10. Giving up

放弃
“The most certain way to succeed,” Thomas Edison once said, “is always to try just one more time.” Success, however you define it, never came from not trying. And often, it comes after first failing time and time again.
*托马斯 · 爱迪生曾经说过：“成功最确定的方法就是再试一次。”
不管你怎么定义成功，成功从来都不是来自于不尝去试。通常，它是一次又一次的失败后出现的。*